Sunday, January 31, 2010

When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

I am so happy to be sitting here typing his while watching the Grammy pre-show..gotta love that Lady Gaga..

So for the first time since being banded I ventured out and about, and landed at my favorite farmers market in Vermont, I was starved because my protein shake had long wore off. Of course I'll find something for lunch there...right? I tried some (awful) thai style vegtable soup. Even the broth was putrid, could not eat it. For the first time I really understand what people mean now by talking about public eating being difficult. I left there feeling frustrated and hungry! So we kept walking and found a little cafe where I had a little lentil soup. Yes, I am still in my soft foods phase, so it is twice as hard to find something compatible for me. So now I know, stay prepared! Today when I was out and about I had a stash of plum and bananas baby food. Like Jillian Michaels says, "when you fail to plan, you plan to fail".

I go to the Dr. tomorrow, I am very excited about this. First of all (and I can't believe I am going to say this) I can't wait to step on the scale, I want Dr. Adam to see how well I'm doing. I am so thankful for him and my band, and I just can't wait. Plus I get my staples removed. I am healing really well.

This weekend I had this crazy idea to go hiking to the High Ledges, (about a mile and a half) on the coldest day of the year. But you know what, I had a blast. It was hard work, and it was cold, but it felt good, and it was so worth it for the view. I only fell once so that wasn't bad, hahaaa. By the end of the hike, I was stripping all my layers off..

Curvy girls can jump too!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Happy Friday everyone...♥

It is so cold here in Mass today, the wind is blustery and my goats won't even come out of their house! I had Campells 98% fat free Broccoli and Cheese soup for lunch..and I think a little piece of broc might be stuck, I notice it when i take a deep breath and swallow. Need to reallllly practice the whole 30-40 chews thing, but its so hard with soup!

Having a pretty good day so far, today was the first day that I tried my Biggest Loser workout since the surgery, wasn't bad, I love challenge days on that game, and then I did a short Pilates workout on Wii, I am new to it so I am introducing myself slowly, but I like it so far, it really lengthens, and tones your muscles.

I am heading out for the weekend, planning to do some good hiking and walking...and I hope everyone enjoys their weekend :))**

Thursday, January 28, 2010



*What is your salad dressing of choice? um..balsamic

*What is your favorite sit down restaurant? Bubalas by the Bay

*What is your favorite fast food restaurant? subway

*What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? scrambled eggs with sugar free syrup on them..mmm

*What are your pizza toppings of choice? cheese

*How many televisions are in your house? 3

*What color cell phone do you have? Black


*Are you right-handed or left-handed? Left

*Have you ever had anything removed from your body? ummm, do children count. haha , and teeth

*What is the last heavy item you lifted? I'm a girlygirl, I don't work like that.

*Have you ever been knocked unconscious? I don't fight. I hug.

*Have you ever fainted? Never.


*If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? no.

*If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Amaya. loveeee it.

*How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
how much time do you have?

*Last person you talked to?


Fall, and summer. it's a tossup.

* Holiday ? Halloween....I love costume parties.

*Day of the week? Saturday. For all the obvious reasons.

well...April is good, thats my birthday month, and I don't just have a birth-day, I have a birthday week.

* Color?
love lots of colors, especially earth tones.

* Drink?
currently Moraccan Mint Green Tea


*Missing someone?

*What are you listening to?
white noise

the snow fall

Worrying about?

*What's the last movie you saw? Alvin and the Chipmunks. badddd

*Do You Smile often?
you have no idea.

*If you could change your eye color what would it be?
my eyes are green and I like them just fine.

*What's on your wish list for your birthday? haven't thought about it.

*Can you do push-ups? With a gun to my head, I could probably do a girl one, but that's only a theory based on the super strength that some people say they get in the face of impending death. <----ditto

*Can you do a chin up? haha

*Does the future make you more nervous or excited? excited

*Have you been in a Car wreck? Just fender benders (knock wood!)

*Have you caused a Car wreck? nope

*Do you have an accent? it depends what I'm talkin about..sometimes

*Last time you cried? was last week in the pre-op waiting room, don't ask me why, but it was more of a criggle, I was crying and giggling.

*Plans tonight? nope

*Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? I guess so.

*Name 3 things you Bought yesterday ? nada

*Met someone who changed your life? Lots and lots of people.

*For the better or worse?? Both.

*How did you bring in the New Year? in my jammies having a tea party.

*Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? I like it here, with cell phones and wi-fi just fine.

*Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Yes

*What songs do you sing in the shower? I really don't

*Have you held hands with someone Today? no

*Who was the last person you took a picture of? of course.

*Are most of the friends in your life new or old? I have new and old friends.

*Do you like pulpy orange juice? ew

*What is something your friends make fun of you for? lets just say I'm an easy target for the poking of fun.

*Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? omigosh I miss it so! I dont remember.

*What were you doing 12 AM last night? zzzzz

*What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I really don't think about a whole lot right away.

SV !! Is there such a thing...?

I read about NSV, but what about SV's ? I weighed in this morning and have lost 25 lbs. (including my pre-op diet loss) since I started this journey!
I ♥ my band.
I feel so good. I really believe what Jillian said this week on Biggest Loser, that if you are in a bad space, or negative with yourself and others around you, that it affects the levels of toxins and everything (don't remember exactly) in your body to fight against you, and you won't lose weight. I feel marvelous and I really think it helps. That concludes Deep Thoughts for today.

I am going to ban my kitty Leo from the bed..third night in a row he has woken me up by walking across my chest. Then there is this whole thing, I have to catch him to throw him out, but I have this thing and really don't like to sleep with the bedroom door closed, (too many episodes of Paranormal State). He may look cute but, I aughta!!

So I am counting down days until I can go to mushies...I really miss eggs. Last night for dinner I had strained french onion soup and warmed up baby food sweet potatoes. Wasn't too bad...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Blogger on Blackberry?

Does anyone know if you can somehow update your blog remotely? I may be away this weekend and it would be nice to still be able to blog. I looked around online and really couldn't find an app, app that didn't cost any money. Free is the magic word!

So yesterday I'm felling really good when I get up, and the house of course has not been cleaning was the maids day off (right), so I decided to do some cleaning. Omigosh, it took me sooo long. I was taking breaks and sweating, what a workout, but I think I just overdid it. I guess a week out of surgery isn't that long when you think about it. I have been very aware of the changes going on inside my tummy. Mostly I notice the incredibly intense "gnawing" sensation when I'm hungry, it's almost does that crazy feeling then it is followed by a regular tummy growl. Weirdness. Also my pockets are getting fatter! I am not going out to eat, and I know that this is due a lot to the pre-op diet and now the pureed...although, I really see myself eating at home most of the time know. For one, I can't eat very much, and I really really want to stay away from starches. So far I don't miss them. Another saver has been wine...I admit, I love my wine, but I am not keeping it at home right now, and haven't been going out to dinner and having it, so this band is really a blessing. I'm not sayin I'm not drinking ever again...but for now, I don't miss it. I have been so ready for this lifestyle change, I just needed the right tools to make it work.
I can feel the band too, especially if I sit a certain way. If there is any slouching in my spine at all, I feel it in there pressing and I immediately straighten up. So I guess thats a plus.. It is just a weird feeling tho. Knowing its in there. Sometimes when I am drinking something and get a little "full" feeling, it almost feels like I can't take normal deep breaths..? I just have to remind myself to slow down, and try to be very aware of reading my body.

I do have a Zumbaaaa! report. A friend of mine goes to a weekly class, and has invited me in the past, but I am finally going. I'm very excited that it just a pay as you go class, so no gym membership required. That works for me :) I have read on so many blogs out here how popular it is, so I am going to give it a try. I love dancing, so I think I'll enjoy it. I did ask her if I would be the biggest girl there...and she was like.."Noooo!" so. okay. I'll go. lol.

There is a support group tomorrow evening at my Dr.s office. I really want to go. Now that I am on the other side, I have different things to talk about and questions.

I really hope everyone has a great day..!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

? 's

1.What time did you get up this morning?
5:21 I know, weird.

2. How do you like your steak?
don't eat red meat.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squekquel...and I don't recommend...

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Shear season starts Feb. 3rd!

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
I'm torn between the mountains of Vermont, or a secluded island...ok, I pick the island.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
protein shake

7. What is your favorite cuisine?

8. What foods do you dislike?

9. Favorite place to eat?
hmmm..I guess this little family owned Italian place called Vercelli's

10. Favorite dressing?
made at home balsamic

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
a Jetta named Aretha.

12. What are your favorite clothes?
I guess my style is somewhat bohemian/hippy/elegant. who knows.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
my cup runneth ova.

15. Where would you want to retire?
oh, lord...thats a looong way away.

16. Favorite time of day?

17. Where were you born?

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

19. Bird watcher?
I guess I am, there are so many different ones.

20. Are you a morning person or a night person?

21. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
not really...

22. What did you want to be when you were little?
A police officer

23. What is your best childhood memory?

24. Are you a cat or dog person?
I am an all kinds of animal kind of person, I guess you'd have to come over to see what I mean.

25. Are you married?

26. Always wear your seat belt?

27. Been in a car accident?
Yes. Nothing serious.

28. Any pet peeves?
yes. a few.

29. Favorite Pizza Toppings?

30. Favorite Flower?
I don't remember the name...but they are very pretty. can you tell I'm not a green thumb kinda girl?

31. Favorite ice cream?

32. Favorite fast food restaurant?
there is this little hot dog stand I go to...

33. How many times did you fail your driver's test?

34. From whom did you get your last email?

35. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
I wish I had a credit card!

36. Do anything spontaneous lately?
does mopping count?

37. Broccoli?
very much

38. What was your favorite vacation?
It's the one I'm taking in March.

39. Last person you went out to dinner with?

40. What are you listening to right now?
Albert play with his cow bell...*sigh*

41. What is your favorite color?
I have many

42. How many tattoos do you have?
5, soon to be six on Feb. 23rd *yay*

43. Coffee drinker?
nope. I kicked the habit.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Rainy Monday Ramblings..

So, I am finally starting to feel like myself again, and it all started when I threw my pain medication right in the trash. It is crazy how horrible they made me feel, what I just couldn't stand anymore was the nausea. I do carefully take 1 Advil Liqugel if I need to, and I don't have any trouble with it going down at all. Appetite is returning for sure. Now I can relate to everyone when they are so excited for "restriction time". What I am curious is, how often do you get fills?
I am slowly but steadily losing weight so far, and I truly feel great. It's amazing what losing a little weight can do, imagine when I am near my goal!
I was reading a blog the other day for menu mushie ideas, and decided to try oatmeal with a spoonful of peanut butter mixed in. Yummy. Love it. I also have been having baby food, as a snack or with my meal. Its a good way to get vitamins, and it tastes pretty good! I have been eating a lot of soups, my fave is butternut squash, and cream of wheat isn't too bad. Bananas blended in my morning protein shake = ♥. In anticipation of moving to the next phase of my diet, I stopped in to an Indian market today to get saag paneer. Craving that like crazy for some reason...
I heard about this thing you can download called Couch Potato to 5K, I think I may have seen it passing thru blogs, has anyone tried it? Something I look forward to is being able to do more actively. I love reading about when all these women (or men) are able to run marathons or make their goals of working out so many hours per month.
Watching Americas Next Top Model marathon today, love this show, but a particular episode Celia has gained some weight since the casting, and Mr. Jay pulled her aside to talk to her about it, using the word "shocked". It seems like everywhere we are so aware of weight and body image.
I guess thats all for now.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Am I being paranoid?

So of course I am in this time of healing, I have been resting, taking small walks, trying to eat a little here and there, but I also have been surfing the net endlessly. Now that I am "on the other side" I am craving all kinds of knowledge, not that I didn't before, but now I really feel banded. It's So anyway, I came across this website yesterday and was reading through forums, I believe it was and somehow I started reading about blood clots. I think I was just cruising through possible complications, and my tummy has been hurting (mostly because the pain meds make me feel horrible so I don't like to take them) so I started reading this...jeez. So then I'm up in the mirror, looking at my incision
sites. One of them looks a little red around the edges. Great, so now I have blood clots and my port incision is infected! Now this is really not the case, I am just being paranoid. *raises eyebrows* Told you.
I did get my protein supplements and vitamins in. This morning, I am sipping a shake with my vitamins in it, and since the liquid is berry flavored it is tasteless. Note to self, do not put the vitamins in Cream of Wheat. Bad..bad. ew.

This is the complete multivitamin, I also put the description here just to share.

Product Information from Liquid Health Products Liquid Health's first all-inclusive daily nutritional product contain es the highest quality ingredients, including Optiberry, Ester-C, Lyc-O-Mato and FloraGlo Lutein. The addition of fiber and 10 blends and complexes designed to enhance the whole food based vitamins, minerals, enzymes, and amino acids in this formula makes Liquid HealthTM Complete the most comprehensive multiple available. Sweetened with agave cactus nectar and fruit juices, Liquid HealthTM Complete is a great tasting multi-supplement for the entire family. Usage: take 1 oz per day (2 tablespoons)

This is the protein I'm trying.

Contains: 3 Protein Sources - Full Amino Acid Spectrum - 15 Grams of Protein per Ounce - Energizing B Vitamins

I am back down to my pre-surgery weight. I noticed I hadn't posted any numbers yet on here. I guess sometimes I still feel embarrassed, even tho I'm amongst friends here. I know everyone kept telling me to not worry about the scale so much this week, so thats what I've been trying to do. I was able to do a little Wii fit yesterday, I'm just trying not to push it. May I just say, my Dr. did warn me about more gas, bloating..omg, talk about pain! My left shoulder has been so sore. It really got bad yesterday after I had a few bites of cottage cheese. So I don't think that agrees with me. :(

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Been feeling kind of poopy today. :(

I have just not been feeling that hot today. Been slightly nauseous all day, not a good feeling, it's almost as if I drank too much the night before, but I didn't. I started off this morning having a Carnation Instant Breakfast shake, set my timer, I didn't finish it, but I think I still might have sipped too quickly, then moved on to water, sipping...but I don't know, that's all I have gotten down. I try to make sure to get a couple sips of shake when I take my pain meds, wondering if that may be the problem. I called my Dr. and he asked if I wanted to come in, but honestly, that's the last thing I feel up to doing. I felt so good this morning, until around 10ish...
Ok. I am done whining for now. I think I will read some blogs, that will make me feel better :)

Training myself how to eat all over again..

Reading through paperwork, it says that for a 1/2 oz beverage it should take 30-40 minutes, this is something new for me. I brought out my timer for coloring hair and have started to use that. In the past it was nothing for me suck down a breakfast shake. In actuality, I've only had about 6-7 sips and I feel full already. I guess I'm just concerned about getting all my protein in for the day. I ordered some protein powder and vitamins, but they are not in yet.
I also need to not be shy about taking my pain meds. I am just one of those people that barely like to take OTC anything. But oh, I felt so much better after I took it last night.
And yes, I cannot wait to have more options for clothing. It's really starting to feel like a reality now. No more longing gazes in the non-plus size departments.

I am finally feeling a sense of freedom, freedom from this long struggle.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I am officialy a Bandster. woot woot

Home sweet home. I am so glad to be home, I have just been napping all day, seeing as I slept poorly in the hospital last night. I did gain 5 lbs tho :( I haven't had anything to eat since night before last, I'm just hoping this is from bloating/fluids, and swelling. I tried a few tiny bites of oatmeal, but no go. The overall experience was not bad. I couldn't believe that one minute I was laying in the OR and they said, you are going t take a little nap, and the next thing I know I woke up in recovery. I did have a couple tears yesterday morning while waiting. I think I was just nervous. Then they gave me something and I felt very relaxed all the sudden. Tomorrow I am going to try to take a small walk. My tummy hurts some and I want to get things moving in there.
Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and good wishes. Such a great community I feel a part of here!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. ♥

Tomorrow is the day. I have just been trying to stay pretty chill today, except for me pushing out my hula hoop record even further on the Wii. *raises eyebrows* no one will touch it. I have begun packing my bag. Not too much, my fave yoga pants, socks, slippers(my feet are always cold) magazines and books.(sshh Don't tell Dr. G but I may be wearing some mascara tomorrow)

Hmm, I can't help but wonder if the 34 hours straight that I watched of Trauma: Life in the ER hasn't contributed to my lil case of the anxiousness. Talk about heavy TV, but it's like a bad accident, you have to keep watching..and watching. Thanks Discovery Health Channel!
I am dreading getting dressed in that awesome doesn’t-cover-a-damn-thing outfit, here in New England they are called "johnny's", okay. Anyways, I really hope I get a somewhat cute johnny. I am also trying to decide where is the best location for my port to be placed. Dr. G suggested my belly button would be a good spot, this is because I'm a shorty. I just have this thing with my belly button, weird about it being touched, I don't know how I would feel about a needle going in there *pouts*
I will be fine. I will be fine. I will be fine!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

My liquid diet and I are not getting along today.

I can ceremoniously say that I am getting a little tired of all these liquids. Oy. I keep saying, 1 more day, 1 more day. I am getting a little nervous. Things are bothering me somewhat quickly. I have an acute awareness of everything today, gum smacking, lack of turn signals, etc. My tummy rumbles...the last thing I want is jello. Or broth. Or...a popsicle. more liquids....! exactly 36 hours, I will be banded.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic*yay*

Saturday, January 16, 2010

My guilty pleasures have been outweighing my good health.

It has been a pretty uneventful day, I have just been trying to not be hungry... I did purchase the Wii EA Active game the other day. Let me just say that games kicks booo-tay. Ouch. It comes with a leg band to monitor movement and a stretchy resistance band. I wonder how silly I look running/marching/doing high leg kicks in place. *giggles* I really like these type of games because it is basically a personal trainer at home.
I switched it up last night for a change and had strained miso soup was so much better that chicken broth for a change. It tasted so yummy that I figured it had to be full of salt or something. I have also started drinking tea like crazy, everyone always talks about how great it is for your body and flushes things out. I really love the Yogi teas, they have delicious flavors (liquorice is my fave) and each tea bag has its own little inspirational message.

As I opened the freezer door to pull something out, there was a frozen pizza staring at me....I admit, that was something I always Frozen or fresh. Being quite the foodie and wine lover though has not been kind to me *pppfffft* Thats okay, I marched into the kitchen and had the best bowl of jello evah!

I also gave someone a manicure...
This is our gay poodle, Michael.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Going in the right direction..


So I am almost to my surgery date...and of course this is consuming my mind, everything I think and do. I have decided to make a lifestyle/behavior change...I admit, at times my tummy is rumbling, and a quick flash of a bagel runs thru my mind, but I go for the sugar free jello. I also may be having these visions because I am day 6 into my liquid diet...*raises eyebrow* but for the most part, I am doing ok. I have decided to hibernate at home...this works best for me, this way I am not tempted by stopping and grabbing a "quick fix". This hasn't been a bad thing either, I feel like I need some time to really adapt to my new life, time to absorb it, and I feel that pretty soon it will just be how it is..I won't have that constant inner struggle with my old habits, french toast- extra syrup for breakfast, and extremely unhealthy snacking. I have started journaling my meals, counting calories. I have never done this before. Also I have really started being active, I didn't join a gym, I've been doing things at home. I've become a yoga addict, and even though I'm not a tiny girl, I'm not half bad at it...and I truly believe that as the weight comes off, it will get even easier for me to hold those poses steady.

I am seeing steady results in my numbers...which I think is good and bad. I am a very habitual, addictive person. I have started weighing myself each day...and I have never in my life until now even owned a scale, and of course being on a liquid diet, you're gonna lose! I worry that 2 weeks from now it won't be like this, right now almost seems easy. I am just worrying too much! I know this. Maybe it's just pre-surgery jitters.
My Dr. prescribed me something to calm my nerves before surgery. I am not normally an anxious type person...but we'll see. He said that a few tears in the pre-op room is not unusual. Watch me be sobbing. :/ And I know this is terrible, but they told me to not have makeup on the morning of. Seriously? I am way too vain for that. Even after my children were born, I was sitting up in bed, makeup scattered all around me. The nurses teased me. C'mon know I'm not the only one!


A prayer for the people of Haiti..

Gen had posted this beautiful prayer on her blog and I wanted to post it here as well. It is just a way for me, or anyone else to decipher our feelings about this deplorable tragedy.

O Lord, hear us

Our voices join the mournful songs and prayers

rising above the ruins of the Haitian capital, Port-au-Prince

O Lord, we believe
That you hear the cries of the trapped and the injured

You cradle the dead and the dying

You feel the pain of the grief-stricken and the searching

O Lord, we ask you
To pour comfort on your children who sorrow and sigh

Calm all panic and despair

Strengthen the weary hands of rescuers and medical workers

O Lord, forgive us
and hasten our response to the poverty and greed

that render so many helpless in the face of disaster


Thank you

Text "YELE" to 501501 and Wyclef Organization "" will charge $5 to your phone bill to help with the relief efforts in Haiti, You can text "HAITI" to 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross relief efforts in Haiti.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Day Four of pre-op diet...the countdown is here!

Am I really starting to adjust to this..? Will I still enjoy popsicles 1 year from now? Time will tell, but for now I am feeling..pretty good actually. I have a busy day today, filled with Dr.s and pre-op surgery appointments. Meeting with the anethstesiologist as well. It sure is coming...1 week from today. I still can't believe it.
For the first time since I started playing the Wii Fit game, I really look forward to the body tests. I jump out of bed and get on the balance board...I'll be honest, six months ago I wouldn't dare! Just preparing my body for the band, I am already feeling changes, in fact I am 6 pounds down from my last surgery appt!

I googled 6 lbs and found this burrito..*raises eyebrow* talk about a reality check, ew.

I have been trying to keep my mind and body occupied with other things, such as knitting, reading, exercising... I have recently decided to start painting again. I find balance in this, and it's just nice to have something that's just mine, that no one has any expectations of, that just belongs to me.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Out and about today, brrrrrrr!

Living in New England, it's cold...but I didn't care, I am doing this!

Maybe this isn't so bad...


Sunday, January 10, 2010

Day 2 Pre-Op diet

I write this as I am sipping on my yogurt/jello parfait...this is yummy I admit. Day one wasn't all that bad yesterday, untill the evening, it seemed like all the food I didn't eat yesterday all of the sudden was ever present in my rumbling tummy :/ As the evening went on I tried to ignore it, but it seemed like I could hear the growling and I was convinced that the dogs could too! I was so hungry. So I just went to bed. I can do this. I will.
I get inspired in this difficult time by reading other blogs, it makes me excited and keeps me focused. I am ready for my new life...and reading all these stories gives me hope.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Pre Op Preparations

I am scared and nervous and anxious but I am ready! I loaded up on popsicles and broth. I am worried I will starve to death but I'm sure I won't wither away. I am ready and I want this!
I just though I wanted to start a blog to help me journal my everyday life with this process and to share it. I enjoy other peoples' blogs about the lap band and it has been very helpful to me and I think it will help me on my path.

I had my last regular size meal tonight (Sushi) and a few Mai Tais to boot and that's it! So much of my life is focused on this like "B.L.B: Before Lap Band" and now it's gonna be "A.L.B: After Lap Band!" My surgery day is coming quick, and it's all happening so fast.

I will start after my surgery to post pictures of my progress and continue to journal about this process so check back!